A Picture is Worth a Thousand Words
by RatheraMutemwiya
Summary: Beware... I've entered the world of HP hetrofic. And this one is a *tad* unusual... The Fat Lady/Peeves... for my inspiration check the AN :-) Please R/R!


A Picture Is Worth A Thousand Words  
  
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Author's Note: Okay...... "Lily Black" posted a nonfic called "Unlikely   
Harry Potter Couples" a while back and this fic is actually inspired   
by that. One of the couples she had on there was The Fat Lady/ Peeves.   
And that got me thinking... and we all know how dangerous that is! So   
without further aideu, here is my Fat Lady/ Peeves ficlet (fairly short),   
"A Picture is Worth a Thousand Words"  
  
PS: I couldn't find the Fat Lady's name anywhere, so for the purposes of   
this fic, she is "Maria." Timewise, well, needless to say this takes place  
at the Yule Ball in Harry's 4th year, if memory serves.  
  
PPS: All my previous HP fics have been slash, so this one is a little odd  
for me. Hope you enjoy, and please, please, PLEASE, review!!!!  
  
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When she had contracted an artist to insert her soul into this painting after  
her death, there was one thing that Maria, better known as "The Fat Lady,"  
hadn't bargained on- loneliness. Each day student after student muttered  
the house password to her and passed her by without a second glance. She   
hadn't had a meaningful conversation in over a century now, only the   
occasional conversations with the Gryffindor Professors when the changed the  
password had kept her from going insane for a lack of human interactions.  
  
Not that "human" interactions were really what the Fat Lady desired. No,   
the only creature that interested her was the ghost Peeves, who flitted  
around Hogwarts with an ease and grace she envied from her tiny home.  
She watched him fly through the hallways, as he darted here and there   
to work on his latest cruel prank. He never spared a glance for her,   
and why should he? She wasn't part of his world. Her world consisted of   
these four wooden planks that made up her frame, of the canvas on which   
her likeness had been captured for all time.  
  
As Peeves passed her again, Maria called out, "Peeves, can you spare   
a moment?" She leaned against the edge of her frame, trying to look as  
seductive as possible. Temporarily distracted from his eternal quest to  
torment Mr. Filch, Peeves floated up to her questioningly.  
  
"So..." Now that Maria had finally gotten up the nerve to speak to Peeves,  
her mind blanked. She really didn't have much to say, cut off fron the   
world as she was. Even the old standby conversational gambit of asking  
about the weather wouldn't work, since the weather never changed inside  
Maria's silly, confining frame. "So how are your pranks going?" She asked  
rather lamely.  
  
Peeves face brightened insomuch as a ghost's face is capable of brightening.  
If there was one thing he liked almost as much as pulling a prank, it was  
boasting to others about his success. The Fat Lady had never shown an   
interest in the past, but Peeves was willing to talk about his pranks to  
anyone who was unfortunate enough to pass his path, so he didn't really  
care how interested she was.  
  
Almost an hour passed as the two discussed the finer points of true  
mischief making. For all her subdued attitude now, The Fat Lady had  
hardly lived an angelic life, and her jokes and little mockeries of  
other students at Hogwarts had been legends in their time. All of  
Maria's old enthusiasm for mischief returned in Peeve's presence,  
and she felt herself longing more than ever before to be able to  
roam around the school as Peeve did, tormenting cranky old Filch and  
his pesty beast Mrs. Norris.  
  
She said as much to Peeves, who looked at her pityingly. Wizards had  
managed to confine him once or twice in the past, and he had almost  
gone crazy from the isolation- well, depending on who you asked,  
he had always been crazy, but Peeves didn't think of it that way-  
and the thought of spending eternity in a picture frame was the most  
painful experience he could imagine. "I don't know how you stand it,  
Lady." He addressed Maria, "What do you *do* with yourself all  
day?"  
  
Maria sighed. "I sit here, and I wait for someone with a sembelance  
of intelligence to tell me what it is like not to be in a picture   
frame. Unfortunately, it doesn't happen often. One of the worst  
parts of being stuck in a frame is people walk right by you, day after   
day, without so much as an acknowledgement."  
  
Peeves nodded in sympathy, the beginnings of a plan forming in his   
mind. But it would take time. Taking his leave of Lady, he went off to  
set his plan in motion  
  
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An evening talk with Peeves became part of Maria's daily ritual, after  
all the silly Gryffindors were safely in their beds and no longer   
bothering her with their incessant requests to enter the common room.   
She'd taken rather a fancy to the ghost, not that it mattered much  
when they existed in such different realities, and his visits were the  
only part of her life worth looking forward to.  
  
One night in particular, Maria was even more depressed with her lot  
than usual. It was around the winter holidays- Maria could tell from  
the fact that the students of Gryffindor walked around in silly  
yule hats, and garlands of pine had been draped rather haphazardly   
throughout the hallways as far as she could see. As she sat in her  
post, awaiting Peeves's visit, she watched students almost skipping  
two by two or sometimes in small groups out of the common room.  
  
The students' robes were finer than usual, that was the first thing that  
caught Maria's eye. A few more giggling girls passed and she knew  
exactly what was going on: a ball. Tears formed in her eyes and the   
parade of beauties blurred in her vision. Once she would have been one  
of those girls, dressed up and gossiping with her friends as she  
clung to the arm of some handsome young gentleman. Now, all she could  
do was watch them pass.  
  
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Maria waited for Peeves to visit her for what seemed like hours. The  
students were beginning to return from the ball slowly, each lingering  
as if not wanting the evening of delight to end. Still, Peeves did not  
show himself. Resigned to her isolation once more, Maria stared down at   
the stone floor, studying the scuff marks where girls unused to heeled  
shoes had stumbled as they passed.  
  
The sudden movement of her frame caused Maria to start, whirling her   
head around to try to see the cause of the disturbance. But whoever had   
grabbed her was being most cautious not to come into her view, and she  
resigned herself to being carried through the hallways. It was her first  
view of the rest of Hogwarts for some time, and regardless of the   
circumstances she could not help but enjoy it, taking in all the sights  
of the everchanging hallways and chambers.  
  
As Maria tried to recollect what she remembered of the layout of Hogwarts,  
she realized they were heading to the main hall. As she was carried through  
the open doors, she stared in awe at the beautifully decorated hall that  
now was serenely empty.   
  
Music started out of nowhere, and if Maria were not already in a frame in   
the air she would have been swept off her feet as suddenly her captor   
whirled her around to face him. "Peeves...?" She whispered wonderingly,  
her eyes wide. Abruptly the other ghosts of Hogwarts began to flood   
through the walls and into the room, ready to hold their own holiday   
celebration.  
  
Hard as it was for a ghost to dance with a portrait, Peeves managed  
it rather elegantly. Around them the other ghosts had paired off, and   
even the Bloody Baron had found himself a companion for the dance.  
Peeves manuvered his way towards the side, and pointed up to a bustle  
of mistletoe suspended from the ceiling. For one painful moment,  
Maria thought Peeves was mocking her, after all this, for she could  
not reach out and kiss him.   
  
But Maria was suprised when Peeve himself leaned forward and brushed  
his ghostly lips against her painted ones. It was the closest to true  
contact Maria had felt in ages, and the sensation combined with the   
freedom of being away from her dusty hallway sent her into a state of  
smiling and giggling euphoria for the remainder of the evening.  
  
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When finally even the ghosts were too exhausted to continue their  
midnight Yule ball, Peeves replaced Maria on her hanger on the wall.  
"Did you enjoy your evening, Lady?" He asked with a teasing grin.  
  
Maria could find no words for how much she had enjoyed herself.  
She smiled down at Peeves, the picture of pleasure in her wooden  
frame. And Peeves did not need to inquire again.  
  
After all, a picture is worth a thousand words.  
  
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The End...  
  
Short but I think kindof sweet, in an unusual way. Please review if you made   
it this far, I would truly appreciate it. For fans of my slash altraverse,  
I'll have another part of each of those stories up by next week, I promise!  
But I just had to write this... :-D  
  
  
  



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